


This Is Not Wonderland, This Is War

by potatochip53



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: After Kaiju Drift, Angst, End of the World, Heavy Angst, Hong Kong Shatterdome, I'm Sorry, M/M, Read, Sad Ending, Thses boys deserve each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-24 16:05:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15634062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potatochip53/pseuds/potatochip53
Summary: It's the end of the world. The Jaegers have fallen. There's nothing left to do.





	This Is Not Wonderland, This Is War

**Author's Note:**

> Not really very happy with this. Sorry if its slow or a lil OC

The stars are falling, the oceans are fading, and the sky is red. The atmosphere in the Shatterdome was grim. The end was finally near. The Jaegers had fallen. There were no more drift compatible. The kaiju streamed out of the breach day by day, accumulating all throughout the world. There is not a single place on Earth where the air doesn't carry the faint metallic scent of blood, where the water isn't tinged a sickly pink. It wasn't the beginning of the end anymore. No, that had been when the final Jaeger had succumbed to the kaiju. This. This was the end.

The Shatterdome was on lockdown. A level 4 kaiju was headed directly towards them. There was nowhere to hide, the buildings had all been destroyed. There was no help to seek. The remnants of humans were scattered around the globe, probably already forming post-apocalyptic ride or die groups. Newt Geiszler sat in the lab he shared with his partner, Hermann. All of the Shatterdome’s residents had been directed to the ‘shelters’. Newt thought it was futile. A tiny box of steel would never withstand the force of a kaiju. And besides, there wasn't anything else left. 

He’d rather die surrounded by his life's work, than smashed elbow to sweaty elbow in a confined space filled with screaming people. Newt sighed, mind going to Hermann as he looked to the other side of their shared lab, Hermann’s side. It was organized and pristine just like the man in question, whereas Newt’s side was covered in filth and the occasional spot of kaiju blood. Dr. Geiszler didn't want to be alone. Hermann was probably already pressed somewhere in the back of a useless shelter. It was protocol. Newt didn't care about protocol anymore. He stopped caring a while ago, when the tweets and videos and pictures all started coming in. Of kaiju shooting out of the ocean and of the breach enlarging. Of the rainfall glistening like falling stars and the blood-colored smoke that turned the sky an alarming red. The sea-level that gradually lowered as more and more water was contaminated and stolen by the kaiju. That was when Newt stopped caring.

He and Hermann had watched the news with horror filled eyes as their world was brought to its knees. And they were reminded that even after the centuries that their civilization had survived, only the dead see the end of war. The door to their lab creaked open and Newt looked up with tired eyes to see Hermann limping in, cane forgotten elsewhere. He looked tired too. Newt smiled a broken little smile. At least he wouldn't be alone.

Hermann met his eyes and matched his smile. They both knew that this was it. That no amount of calculations would make a difference. Hermann sighed as he took the pressure off his injured hip and jerkily sat down on the couch next to Newt. Their knees touched, an invasion of personal space that any other day Hermann would've frowned at. But today, today nothing mattered. He looked to the side at Newt, opened his mouth, then closed it.

“It’s ok,” Newts voiced broke the silence, “I get it.”

Hermann looked down as Newt’s hand found his. It felt… odd. Odd but good. Warm, comforting. There wasn't anything to talk about. Their combined drift with the kaiju said everything, so they didn't have to. It revealed feelings that were reciprocated. And maybe on a normal day Hermann would've wanted to confront Newton and talk about it. But screw that. It was the end and  _ scheisse _ , Hermann didn't even care anymore. Looking down at his feet to savor the moment, the German mathematician noticed a crumpled bottle of water thrown on the floor. The small amount still inside  _ shook. A tremor.  _ Still far away, but a sure sign that the kaiju was approaching. 

At that point, it seemed that Newton had had quite enough of silence as he launched himself off of the couch, dragging Hermann with him.

“That's it,” Newt said determinedly, “What do you want to do Herm? Tell me. Anything.”

“Well…” Hermann hesitated, “I-I don’t know. I don’t care. I don't  _ want _ to care anymore.”

Newt smiled. “Ok then, we’re not gonna care anymore. I’m going to teach you how to not care.”

Hermann nervously allowed himself to be drug after his… partner. Newton led him to a supply closet where he proceeded to dig around and pull out a bottle of rum.

“Let's have some fun and not care.”

Newton took a swig straight from the bottle and winced before offering it to Hermann. The mathematician tentatively grasped the neck of the bottle and gulped some rum, relishing the burn as it went down his throat. They split the bottle, feeling as a pleasant buzz overrode most of the fear.

The tremors gradually grew more noticeable. The lights began to rattle in their sockets and light objects like the chalk in Hermann’s chalkboard took on a slight shake. And as more alcohol was ingested into the systems of the two geniuses, it seemed like there was so much to do. So much to experience in such a short time. Hermann gradually loosened up and admitted that maybe all he wanted was to sit with Newt and see the sky one last time. So they squished together on a chair and stuck their faces up next to the only window in the entire lab. 

The sky was still red. 

The sky was still red but it still held promise of the beyond. Of exploring the galaxy and reveling in a sense of discovery that both men had always dreamed of achieving. But the alcohol motivated them and there was still so much to do and they had gotten their fill of the sky so now they danced. They danced slowly and closely and laughed as Newt tripped and Hermann stumbled. They drew all over the concrete walls with sharpie and jousted with Hermann’s chalk. They told childhood stories and secrets that both vowed would never hear the light of day. And they laughed. And laughed some more. Pure, untainted, glorious laughter echoed through the halls. It was a beam of light in the darkness that never made its way down into the cold shelters. And then another tremor hit.

It shook the walls of the Shatterdome. Papers came undone and scattered out over the floor. The empty bottle of rum fell off its precarious perch on Newt’s desk and shattered on the floor. The mood was deafened by the suffocating sense of impending doom. Both men slid down onto the cold floor, facing each other, close enough to touch.

Newt closed his eyes and reached out to touch Hermann, tattoos stretching out with his arm. Two pairs of eyes landed on the horrible ink face of a kaiju.

“Y’know, I never really worshipped the kaiju,” Newt spoke slowly, carefully, “They were just so powerful and an amazing, enigmatic force to study.”

Newt sighed, blowing out warm air. “I just got lost in the sound. It was the thrill of it all.”

Hermann looked into his eyes, mouth opening to comfort Newt. But all that came out was, “Don’t be a slave to the system Newton, like so many others were. You made yourself happy, even though the kaiju were monsters that we should only ever see on screen. Some die looking for a hand to hold,” Hermann stated, glancing to their entwined fingers. “But we, we have it all right here.”

The lights flickered and popped and the walls dangerously swayed. It was almost time.

“We are all going to die Newton. We are only a moment. But right now, in  _ this _ moment, we are tripping on the urge to feel alive. We have each other. We are not alone. And that-that is all I’ve ever really wanted.”

Without lights, the darkness reigned. They couldn't see each other. They could only use body heat to move closer, to wrap their arms around each other and squeeze. Squeeze as tight as they could, as if keeping the other safe.

Newt looked up, up into the darkness where he imagined Herm’s face would be, and he smiled. Even as the walls slowly collapsed in on themselves. He blinked and spoke his last words with a smile on his lips.

“I feel real Herm’s. I feel real and baby what we have is real and I'll never let that go. I believe that some relationships can last more than one lifetime. But we… we have nothing to be ashamed of. We almost saved the world. We wanted to be the sky. But I think it’s ok that we never got to leaving the ground.”

Newt spoke with reluctant tears streaming down his cheeks. He buried his face in Hermann’s neck as the walls gave a sorrowing moan and finally caved. And it was loud and everybody in the shelters were screaming and it smelled like blood and smoke but it was ok. It was ok because Hermann’s warm body was pressed against his side and maybe in the end, they'd all become stories anyway.


End file.
